Brain graze
Google


Saturday



BACK ON TRACK (ALMOST)

Can only hope that the rest of Magic Manley's tips are a bit faster than your learned adviser. Had some running around to do this morning so missed out on having a crack at Mick's first tip, Striding Edge, in the first at Moonee Valley. It's duly saluted officialdom, paying $2.80 for the effort. Lets' hope it's not his only winning tip for the day. The Magician's other recommendations are: VIVANT (Race 4, No.3) each-way and for value CARAMEL CORN (Race 3, No.3) each-way. I'm off to invest.


Friday



NO RISK OF A POLICE STATE

They're threatening to fine people in our neighbourhood who don't paint over graffiti quickly enough. They're not doing anything to catch the little bastards who dawb their pathetic little squiggles over private property. And if they do catch them, it's a smack on the wrist and off you go you poor little victim of society.
So, given that here in Victoria, where the most important issue to the Commissioner of Police is gender equity in the ranks, we're just a couple of years behind social developments that occur in the US, I guess we've got incidents like this to look forward to: Courtesy of Rachel Lucas.

When we allow kids to behave like this, without suffering any consequences, we send them a clear message that adults are weak, and they can get away with just about anything. Like the kid a few blocks from here who stole a car every day to drive to school. My Dad lives in that part of town, and he found out that the police knew who it was all along, but had decided to let the parents try to "deal with it" until he'd done it for about a month, and too many cars started disappearing. Then--as the cop who told my Dad the story put it--they "finally had to arrest the kid."



LAWYERS AND OTHER VERMIN

WHILE they're in the dock, Ben Graham should sue them for making him captain and thus causing him to lose any footballing ability.
This ought to be good. Ninety-nine per cent of the population of my town reckon this is a disgrace and shows the legal racket to be an industry populated by parasites and chancers.
But I wouldn't in the least be surprised if a judge -- a graduate of the legal racket -- rules in favour of this irresponsible bludger.

From today's Geelong Advertiser:
A NORLANE man is suing Geelong Football Club for allowing him to get too drunk at a president's lunch.
After lengthy legal arguments, a trial date of June 3 has been set down in the Melbourne County Court.
In Supreme Court documents seen by the Geelong Advertiser, Gregory Allan Clifford claims he consumed ``excessive quantities of liquor'' supplied by the club at a president's lunch about two years ago.
Mr Clifford claims he fell down a set of stairs at the club function and severely injured himself.
In the civil lawsuit against the club he claims the club should have exercised reasonable care to conduct the function in a way where people drinking were reasonably safe.
Mr Clifford and the firm acting for the Geelong Football Club, Ebsworth and Ebsworth, both declined to comment on the case yesterday.
The documents on the Australian Legal Information Institute (AustLII) website said the trial had originally been adjourned to wait for the outcome of a NSW case which had some similarities with Mr Clifford's claims.
A woman had claimed a NSW rugby club was liable for injuries she received after drinking at the club.
The woman had claimed she was hit by a car while ``wandering drunkenly'' 100 metres away from the club, the Supreme Court documents said.
It had been alleged the club was liable for continuing to serve her alcohol while she was still intoxicated.
The NSW County Court judge found the blame was shared between the driver, club and the woman, but on appeal by the driver and club, her claim was subsequently dismissed.
At the time an adjournment was sought for Mr Clifford's case, an appeal of the NSW decision to the High Court was pending, the court documents said.
A Victorian County Court judge had decided the outcome of that High Court appeal could have an impact on the case between the Geelong Football Club and Mr Clifford.
But Ebsworth and Ebsworth, for the Geelong Football Club, argued it would be wrong to wait for the outcome of that particular case.
The Victorian Court of Appeal agreed the delay of a trial would be excessive and unjust to both parties, particularly to the Geelong Football Club.





LOONY TUNES

Controversy attracts nutcases like a steamer on the footpath produces blowflies from nowhere. Wise editors know it: publish a murder report and the phone will ring off the wall with tips and theories from idiots with nothing better to do. Seasoned cops know it: a good part of their time is wasted by dingbats confessing to crimes they could never have committed. Ethical lawyers (there used to be one or two of them around) know it, too: there's always some crazy edger out there trying to squeeze a buck from some poor bastard's misery. The aforementioned endangered species used to tell them to get on their bike. The parasites practising law today are more than likely to strike a percentage-of-damages deal.
Anyone with a smidgeon of life experience and not hauling a political agenda knows the Hollingworth saga would bring loonies out of the woodwork and thus would treat their claims accordingly. Unfortunately, that requires a value judgement. And we can't have that in this era of moral equivalence when the stupid and criminal are as worthy as the wise and law-abiding. There's that crackpot Hettie Johnstone for a start. (Regrettably, once a citizen of Geelong). Although she was plainly barking, the media wouldn't drop her until she declared on ABC Lateline that Hollingworth should be in jail.
But that's the ABC, they'll give any lunatic a run if they think it can damage Howard.
I wouldn't have thought The Australian would flirt with the alfoil hat wearers. But yes, last Saturday their front page lead was turned over to an ex-Anglican priest who claimed he'd been abused and Hollingworth had given him the bum's rush. The poor bastard was clearly on the tram but without a ticket. He had no corroboration, was a recovering alcoholic and appeared very, very alone. Yet Australia's premier broadsheet gave him the front page treatment. Apart from ABC news on Saturday night, no-one else touched it. Quite rightly. But the Oz is a pro-republic paper, you see. And any chance for a cheap shot at the G-G or his position and Howard's endorsement of that position will be grabbed with glee.
And now we have this tragic Jarmyn woman's allegations that Hollingworth raped her 40 years ago at a church camp that he can prove he was never anywhere near. Plainly another nuff-nuff wanting a moment in the sun. It seems that in her poor deluded condition she has confused Hollingworth with someone else. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if before the day is out the finger is pointed at that other party. But how did this get this far? To be listed for a court hearing without any of her claims being tested.? She has suicided and it probably would have come to nothing except for ALP frontbencher Lindsay Tanner using Parliament to implicate Hollingworth.
There has been some disgraceful behaviour in this whole sorry Hollingworth saga, but very little of it has come from the G-G. High-ranking media hyenas have led the charge to the baying of the hating classes with their grubby little statute monkeys and going-nowhere political opportunists bringing up the rear. And, as Gareth Parker asks: why is the Left so vociferous on Hollingworth whose only crimes are errors in judgement, yet silent on Geoff Clark who has been accused of despicable acts.


Thursday




TERROR FUNDS DRY UP

Wasn't one of the powerful reasons for not going to war against Iraq the fact that Saddam had no links to Islamic terrorists? Well, the anti-war revisionists and reactionaries -- as well-known Aussie Marxist Albert Langer calls them -- will have to do some, er, revising.
The Independent, hardly a pro-Bush publication, carries a report that since the fall of Saddam regime, the flow of millions of dollars that the Iraqi leader sent to support the Palestinian intifada has abruptly ended. The man who distributed the money, Ibriham Za'anin, told the paper the tyrant had sent $12.5m to the Gaza Strip since the intifada broke out in September 2000. Mr Za'anin said he thought as much again had been sent to Palestinians in the West Bank.
The money was distributed by the Arab Liberation Front (ALF), a pro-Iraqi Palestinian Baathist group, which has not been involved in carrying out any suicide bombings or other militant attacks. Mr Za'anin is the representative in Gaza.
He explained a simple tariff used by the Iraqis. The family of a suicide bomber would get $25,000. The family of a "martyr" – that is any Palestinian killed in the fighting, whether they were armed militants or innocent civilians – got $10,000. Saddam also sent money to Palestinians whose houses were demolished by the Israeli army; the amount was calculated based on the value of the house.









SICK BASTARD

Cripes, it's bad enough that Africans have to battle AIDS, ebola, malaria and Mugabe. Now some imperialist manufacturer wants to infect them with EPIDEMICUS TRABANTUS.


Wednesday



FOOT STAMPER

Delightful. That's DOGGEREL PUNDIT'S tribute to the bloggosphere, done in 1890s saloon sing-along style. Our man Blair gets a guernsey:

This man is Strine, not ''rine in spine,'' a true-blue .au cobber.
His wit 'tis dry; they’re dacked and flat before they know they're clobbered.
He's far ahead of all -- to Lileks' appellation borrow,
Where Blogger Blair is posting it's already now tomorrow.


Exquisite



BEAR FACTS

And in other news to hand:
The Alaska Department of Fishing and Gaming is advising hikers, hunters, and fishermen to take extra precautions and keep alert of bears while in the field. The department has posted the following notice:
We advise that outdoorsmen wear noisy little bells on their clothing so as not to startle any bears.
We also advise outdoorsmen to carry pepper spray with them in case of an encounter with a bear.
It is also a good idea to watch out for fresh signs of bear activity.
Outdoorsmen should recognize the difference between black bear and grizzly bear faeces. Black bear faeces is smaller and contains lots of berries and squirrel fur. Grizzly bear faeces has little bells in it and smells like pepper.



GETTING A GRIP

Mick also drew my attention to an, er, interesting event last weekend in San Francisco. Particularly welcome were Roberts (Manne and Fisk), David Marr, Margo Kingston, Philip Adams, anyone with the remotest interest in reality TV and that WANKER who does film reviews on NBC's Today show.



DESPATCHES FROM YARPTURK

My old pal, Mick Shack,





is a veritable galaxy of illumination this week. Mick, whose assorted musical personas include rhythm master of legendary country and western suburbs band, THE DEAD LIVERS, was performing at Warrnambool's Criterion Hotel during the May racing carnival last year when Aboriginal leader Geoff Clark and accomplices got into trouble with the local wallopers. The incident led to a court conviction for Clark and the premature closure of Schackie's gig. And no gig fee. Brave man, that publican. Clark's a pussycat compared to Schackie when someone gets between him and a performance cheque.
Anyway, Mick and his Warrnambool troubadours, Old Spice, moseyed up to the Criterion again last week for the first anniversay celebration of the Clark contretemps. Geoff wasn't there but the event didn't pass without incident. Schackie reports:

Some extreme drunkeness, a few assaults, some sexually explicit dance simulations, the attempted robbery of a patron's wallet, urination in the gutter and and attempted dislodgement of a parking meter from its concrete mooring.

Just another Thursday night in sleepy Warrnambool.


Monday



I'S A POET

How about this for techno high art?
Over at ROB'S AMAZING POETRY GENERATOR you just type in your blog address and quicker than you can say digital doggeral, out comes the poesy.
Later:

I just discovered if you return to the site or even refresh the page, the program generates another poem. Kinda like monkeys and typewriters -- keep at it and you'll eventually have the works of Kipling under your name. I guess it would need a prompt, though. Here goes:

The Colonel's son has taken horse, and a raw rough dun was he,
With the mouth of a bell and the heart of Hell and the head of a gallows-tree.


Anyway, here's the latest amazing generated poem:

Brain graze Front when tired
old Trots
and other than that we saw another
man was
a
number Three weeks. So
as the national Geographic hire him Ultimately nothing
had discovered
the wake of deception
what Hawking is
now gone and 5
exacto of
four unmarked federal police took the
artist still being
repaired at 10.30am.a
positive mood and remember,
a war is Seems one of
optimism on the Atlantic Monthly
Geelong yesterday.morning.



Sunday



BRAVE HEARTS

Good news. The defiant folk at BOYCOTT HOLLYWOOD are soldiering on despite William Morris Agency's legalistic half-nelsons on behalf of stardom's glittering champions of free speech. Soon as I get the credit card back from the beloved I'll send them a few bucks.


Home