Brain graze



Oh jeepers, bet there's some clenched little bum cheeks in Hollywood today. When, mainstream press like the CHICAGO SUN TIMES start demanding consistency from the anti-war Left Coast mummers, the bean counters back at the lot are gonna get antsy. Stand by for a whole new crop of Hollywood stars with the sense -- or strict orders -- to keep their half-baked opinions to themselves.
Columnist Richard Roeper throws down the gauntlet.
So, Ms. Garofalo and Mr. Sheen and Mr. Moore and Mr. Robbins: Why not hold a press conference to condemn these acts? How about taking out ads in USA Today and the New York Times so you can sign your names to a petition expressing your outrage at this behavior? How about donating your talents to a fund-raiser for the families of fallen American soldiers? At the very least you can update your anti-war speeches to include words of praise for the likes of Jessica Lynch, and words of protest against the Iraqi thugs.


The UN hasn't had a lot to do in the past three weeks. So why the heck weren't they doing something to stop this?
Amid the verdant hills and emerald forests that cloak much of Congo like a hot velvet blanket, someone reportedly blew a whistle. And a killing party began. On cue, armed soldiers and civilians -- men, women and even children -- took up machetes and hacked their neighbors to death.
In a span of three to eight hours, nearly 1,000 people were massacred, the United Nations has confirmed. In a nation increasingly known for ethnic cleansing and astonishing violence, this was the worst single atrocity in the 4 1/2 years of civil war that have ravaged the former Zaire, according to a U.N. spokesman.

Bronwyn Lance Chester of Pilot Online wonders whether the machete should be added to the list of weapons of mass distruction.



Gawd, I've finally got the dial semi-rigid after reading Ooglay's adventures and now the PROF'S got me cackling like a Werribee sewerage tunnel.
"He thinks a hegemon is a Jamaican gardener," quipped another.
Go read the rest. Priceless.


The family thinks me bonkers, roaring hysterically at the computer. Just discovered the blog to put you in stitches, Ooglay Hussein's Diary. Or as Ooglay would say, ''we not be putting in stitches, you bleeding to death, infidel.''
Ooglay is having a few dreadful days, but nowhere near as bad as his human shield.
And the people of Baghdad are all yelling and pointing as I go by. They think I am my glorious Father! This is fine! But no, that is not it, they are pointing behind me but I look in rear-view mirrors and see nothing. Then I go over a bump and Uh-oh! He pops up in the air so I can see him. My stupid humanshield! He was still tied to bumper by leash! He must have been asleep when I hurried out of the hospitol. I drove up to where I could park without worrying about the car getting scratched. Then I go look at him.
He is not dead. He was unconcious. But also he is lots of bleeding. So now I can't put him in car with blood pouring out. So when he doesn't wake up after I am shaking him then I put him in trunk.



Ah, the world's best tabloid doesn't disappoint.


Sun photographer

I JOINED British troops yesterday as they stormed Saddam Hussein’s palace in Basra — and sat on the despot’s golden throne.
The garish loo, painted in gold leaf, was in one of the 18 marble bathroom suites we found in the palace.


Cynical bastard that I am, I can't help but think the ABC's cessation of overnight BBC feeds from the Iraqi front is motivated by the lefty dinosaurs in the corporation's newsrooms. The Willies are on the verge of total triumph and the communards don't want it shown.
Anyway, reluctant as I usually am to act beyond a grizzle blog, I've shot an e-mail off to the Minister responsible for the national broadcaster, Dickie Alston. I suggest others of similar irk do the same at
Here 'tis:
I am shocked and disappointed that the ABC has over the weekend stopped its BBC feed overnight from the war in Iraq.
I contacted the ABC over this and was told coverage ceased because of a ''contractual agreement''.
This is difficult to comprehend. For more than two weeks, the ABC has provided this service, which although blatantly anti-coalition, at least gave viewers an idea of how the situation was progressing.
Now that the conflict is approaching a climax with a swift victory to the coalition likely, the ABC pulls the plug. I can only liken this to Tim Lane and crew walking out of the broadcasting box during time-on of the grand final.
As a political sceptic well aware of the sway that old Trots and assorted dumb lefties hold at the corporation, I can't help but suspect that this situation has been motivated by politics.
And I note that last night when searching in vain for some television coverage of the war, the ABC was telecasting a 50-year-old Shakespearean shocker.
Surely, by not airing latest developments from the front when other networks had left it alone, the ABC has failed in the most basic test of competitive broadcasting.
But more importantly, by not maintaining the level of information from a theatre of war in which Australia forces are active, the ABC is flagrantly breaching its charter.
I think Minister you now have the excuse and opportunity to purge the ABC of the unrepresentative swill who for too long now have controlled the corporation.
Yours respectfully,
Bernard Slattery,
PS. I note also, that these matters with idealogical connections often occur at weekends. Is it a case of the lunatics being in charge of the asylum?

Alan "Angry'' Anderson has also latched onto the Minister's coat tails to deliver a withering serve at the tired old predictable reds at Auntie:
Dear Senator Alston,
I note that the embarassment of the left-wing clique running the ABC at the imminent coalition victory in the war with Iraq has led our national broadcaster to cease its night-time broadcasts of the BBC's coverage.
The choice of the BBC as a news source was defensible in light of that organisation's historical connection with the ABC, although one could certainly have asked for less viscerally anti-American coverage. But to cease that coverage at the cusp of Australian victory is typical of the self-loathing and prejudice which is clearly rampant throughout the news and current affairs department at one of Australia's last bastions of socialism.
I suppose it is too much to hope that you might privatise this dinosaur of an organisation, but I would certainly be grateful if you would reject its spurious requests for funding increases and, if anything, reduce the amount of my tax dollars that are poured down that Stalinist drain.
Yours sincerely,
Alan Anderson
Richmond, VIC



Woo-hoo, we're in the money!!!
The Amazing Manley has performed his magic and conjured up a generously paying winner. For our $10 each way on Karamazou we have pocketed a most welcome $114. Of our other bets, Gallic ran third, losing us only $4 of our $10 each way investment. Raven Protector was a wipeout, running fourth. Off now to buy the splendid spouse brunch. She gets hungry when I win.