WEAPONS OF MASS DYSENTERY
Dave Burge aka IowaHawk has penned this CORKER.
Schaumburg, IL – Flamboyant ‘Falafel King’ restaurateur Sammy Mahmoud received an eleventh-hour reprieve last night when the Schaumburg Restaurant Association’s Hygiene Council voted 3-2 for continued health code inspections at his beleaguered Golf Road diner.
Voting in favor of continued inspections were Hans’ Schnitzel Haus, Jade Dragon Take Out, and Frenchie’s Fine Restaurant Supply. Voting for immediate closure were Outback Steakhouse and Ira’s Kosher Deli. Two neutral council members, Bombay Buffet and Fun-Du!, abstained.
The decision brought a cheer from the musky, hirsuit Mahmoud, 53, who declared, “is very very good happy, ebrybody come on a down for the free baba ghanoush.”
Last night’s decision also brought a stern reprimand for Schaumburg police who have long sought to close the controversial restaurant and its infamous ’$0.39 Guess-a the Meat-a Pita.’
When you've finished there, for more laughs go to:
THE FRANK ZAPPA MEMORIAL EDITION
I guess when you're up against the New York Times and all the editorialising that fits, you're tempted to sometimes put your case in a rather unsubtle manner. Viz:
PASS THIS ON
My family and almost all Iraqi families will feel hurt and anger when Saddam's media shows on the TV, with great happiness, parts of Saturday's demonstration in London. But where were you when thousands of Iraqi people were killed by Saddam's forces at the end of the Gulf war to crush the uprising? Only now when the war is to reach Saddam has everybody become so concerned about the human life in Iraq.
Thanks to Gareth Parker for pointing to this letter in, of all places, THE GUARDIAN.
Let's see how the shallow left respond to it.
Notice in all the peace demo photos coming in that the nuclear disarmament symbol figures prominently. This adds to the growing mountain of proof that the fluffy squitters haven't experienced a fresh idea in the past 30 years. And they call their opponents conservatives!
For some time this blog has been lambasting Crikey.com.au's Steve Mayne for being captive of the lock-think media left. This despite his infatuation with all things at the big end of town. Well, credit where it's due. In his subscribers' sheet this morning, Steve came out as pro-war:
There will be dissent in the Crikey bunker about this but the editor should quietly confess that he thinks we should go to war and help achieve "regime change" in Iraq. Not that we're as pro-War as Miranda Devine.
That's Steve down at the almost-virgins end of the bar.
THAT OLD DOUBLE STANDARD
Imagine if you will, Wilson "Ironbar'' Tuckey using parliamentary privilege to lash say, leftwing commentator, Anne Summers, as "a slutty moll who would die in a ditch to defend the Labor Party''.
All hell would break loose. The press gallery would demand his sacking, the Fairfax press and the ABC would call for an overhaul of privilege to counter "hate speech'' and every leftie femmo from Germs to Margo would want at least his gonads on a platter.
Understandable too. Such a statement makes Alexander Downer's pathetic "things that batter'' jibe look like a witty tribute to modern women's achievements.
Yet, underscoring the different truths disease infecting contemporary journalism, a parliamentary attack along the vile lines as the hypothetical above has not, to my knowledge, rated a mention until yesterday. And then it was allowed straight through to the keeper by The Age's Canberra correspondent Annabel Crabb.
In breaking an eventually erroneous report that lawyer and correspondent for The Australian, Janet Albrechtsen, was to become new High Court judge Dyson Haydon's associate, Crabb, not unapprovingly, repeated a recent attack in the House on Albrechtsen by Labor firebrand Mark Latham.
She was a ''filthy hypocrite'' said Latham, and a "skanky ho' who will die in a ditch for the Liberal Party.''
Decades of newspapering experience tell me this is the sort of quote that should have been all over the media instantly. Followed by indignant condemnation from editorialists. That it wasn't suggests: 1) The press gallery or their editors are so incompetent they couldn't recognise a hot yarn even if it was burning them an extra arsehole; 2) The gallery consensus is that Mark Latham might be a touch over the top but he is still on the side of the angels and the gallery. (As the leading thought-controller in a certain newsroom is wont to say of anyone from the Left: "We like him, don't we?...'').
A disgraceful performance, either way.
Oh boy, reconstructed titan of the intellectual Left, CHRISTOPHER HITCHIN sinks the slipper to the knee cap into morally bereft Jacques Chirac. Hitch's quote of the day:
Here is a man who helped Saddam Hussein build a nuclear reactor and who knew very well what he wanted it for. Here is a man at the head of France who is, in effect, openly for sale. He puts me in mind of the banker in Flaubert's L'Education Sentimentale: a man so habituated to corruption that he would happily pay for the pleasure of selling himself.
CONTESTANTS, AIM YOUR WEAP0NS
This sport should be an Olympic event. Or at least mentioned at UBERSPORTINGPUNDIT
LOCAL LONDON reports on Peeball, the brainchild of couple, Matthew and Elaine Sweetapple, who run their own marketing and ideas agency called Sweetapple.
"Peeball is a game of skill, power and endurance played by gentlemen in urinals," the Sweetapples gush. "You simply place a £1 peeball into a urinal and see how fast you can destroy it with a stream of urine.
"Peeball is a game that men have been playing since men were invented.''