Brain graze



Some idiots write letters to editors:
There's a weapon of mass destruction being used against Australians. It's cheap to produce. It doesn't require sophisticated handling. It's extremely effective and contagious. Symptoms include sleeplessness, anxiety, suspicion and anger.
It's called FEAR, and is used extensively by politicians and the media. Both groups claim responsibility.
Carolyn Johnson, Bendigo

Other idiots go and ruin perfectly good reputations:
His outfit was the real deal -- he wore a red hat with the traditional fuzzy, white ball at the end, a full long-sleeved, red jacket with white strips on the sleeves -- and yes, a full white beard and mustache.
Santa handed over a dollar bill, but the toll was only 75 cents, so the booth worker gave him 25 cents change. Right after that, Santa made a most selfish demand.
"Give me all your money," he told the terrified toll booth worker. She then noticed Santa had a most uncharacteristic piece of equipment -- a long-barreled rifle rested next to him in the passenger seat of the car.

Some idiotarians have delusions about mass murder:
Secret plans by many members of the Liberal Party include the abolition of a minimum wage, creating a completely deregulated framework for effective slavery. This is synchronous with the abolition of the welfare system, which the government quietly agreed to some years ago in the GATS treaty (General Agreement for Trades and Services), a U.S.-created initiative to increase the profits of politicians and their friends by murdering benefits recipients. In GATS' home-country, the minimum wage is $5 per hour, which will soon be deregulated.

But some wonderful people take stock of what they have, no matter how humble, and use it to improve people's lives:
"When people in Kabul found out I was a hairdresser, I was swamped with requests to do their hair," said Debbie Rodriguez, a beautician at Colonial Acres Salon who does volunteer trauma work with Colorado Springs, Colo.-based International Health Services Foundation.
She said the simple fact that Afghans now can get their hair styled is symbolic of the more open life awaiting them after years of oppression under the Taliban.
"I came back with the determination that I wanted to open a hair salon in Afghanistan. I want to bring beauty back to the country and help the women there become self-sufficient," Rodriguez told The Grand Rapids Press for a Thursday story.



The Christmas eve shift has almost finished and Santa at the bar awaits with libations aplenty.
Happy Christmas to readers and fellow bloggers and may the New Year be kind to you all.


Gerard Henderson
in THE AGE today refers to a number of commentators who have undertaken the political journey from left to right. Keith Windschuttle, PP McGuinness, Michael Duffy, Ron Brunton, Ross Terrill, Jonathan King, Imre Salusinszky, Bettina Arndt and the blowtorch of Oz Blogz, Tim Blair, get guernseys.
Like a number of blogsters, I once attentively lined up with the left and to this day am proud I parked my arse in Bourke Street in the 1970s moratoria. But now mindful of GB Shaw's adage -- "If a man's a socialist at 20, he's got spirit; if he's still one at 40, he's a fool'' -- I became discouraged by government and starkly aware that unless you're lucky or rich, achievement is an individual responsibility.
Advancing in a career in journalism, I was disgusted also by the openly expressed, non-thinking, leftwing bias of 80 per cent of my colleagues. Sure, they take care to appear balanced, but when every news judgment passes over a benchmark of middleclass socialism you can be sure there'll be an over-quota of stories to please greens, feminists, gay lobbyists, urban blacks and the victims industry. It's a given that no ''thinking'' journalist would ever question the positions taken by these sacred cows. When market research tells the lefty press that they are ignoring the mass market, they respond snobbishly by pumping pages full of footy and celebrity shit, assuming that's sufficient to amuse the great unwashed. Diminishing circulations across the board are testimony to those strategies.
But what pushed me most heavily from the left was the emergence of political correctness. Being told what language, ideas and positions were ''appropriate'', seemed anathema to anyone who'd enjoyed the liberty and promise of the 60s and 70s. As an Irish-Catholic, PC reminded me of the Methodist wowserism I thought had been discarded into history's dustbin.
I guess I'm still left-tainted on some issues. I don't trust the market to efficiently deliver all I require without some regulation and government intervention.
I believe sport has deteriorated overall since professionalism and the market eclipsed factors such as loyalty, discipline, sacrifice, passionate participation and honesty which underpinned sporting and cultural organisations.
I thought the old time religion was repressive, bigoted and unconnected. But the nylon string-strumming, ''Jesus Loves You'', liberation theologists are fluffy tryhards who just want everyone to be nice.
Finally, I don't know how anyone who values logic can tolerate any left movement that has been polluted by moral equivalence. To speak of ''different truths'', as that stupid, disgraced historian Ryan did, is bunkum. There are facts and lies. In ignoring facts, Ryan and her apologists from the academic left are prepared to accept lies as truth.


Pom and Frog come to Australia to crash head-on

An English tourist has been injured in a car accident on Victoria's premier tourist thoroughfare, the Great Ocean Road.
The 30-year-old visitor flown to Melbourne's Alfred Hospital after the car he was travelling in collided head-on with a vehicle driven by a French tourist. Police suspect the French driver was on the wrong side of the road.
The head-on collision occurred about five kilometres west of Lavers Hill shortly after 11am, police said.
Senior Constable Roger Gurrie said the Englishman was in the passenger seat of a car travelling towards Lavers Hill when it collided with a car driving towards the Twelve Apostles.
The latter car was believed to have been been driven on the wrong side of the road by a visiting Frenchman, he said.


Follow this logic and it's inevitable that churches must smash their stained glass windows, remove their crucifixes and strip priests of dog collars.
The British Red Cross has ordered a near total ban of Christmas decorations from its charity shops so
as not to offend Muslims, a London newspaper reported on Saturday.
``We put up a nativity scene in the window and were told to take it out,'' Christine Banks, a volunteer
at a Red Cross shop in Kent county, southern England, told the Daily Mail tabloid.
``It seems we can't have anything that means Christmas. We're allowed to have some tinsel but that'sit ... We were told it is because we must not upset Muslims,'' Banks added.
Confirming the ban at the charity's 430 shops, a spokesman for the British Red Cross told the paper: ``The Red Cross is a neutral organisation and we don't want to be aligned with any political party or particular philosophy''.
``We don't want to be seen as a Christian or Islamic or Jewish organisation because that might compromise our ability to work in conflict situations around the world.''
The spokesman added: ``In shops people can put up decorations like tinsel or snow which is seasonal. But the guidance is that things representative of Christmas cannot be shown''.

So what the feck are they going to do about the Red CROSS?
And anyway isn't there a Red Crescent for the followers of Allah?


James Lileks is brutally brilliant in an attack on those Canadian killjoys mentioned here last week who spent their Christmas money on a billboard reading: "Gluttony. Envy. Insincerity. Greed. Enjoy Your Christmas."
After fisking the fools to waste in his inimitable way, Lileks carolises hilariously:

Lenin the bald-head Marxist
Had a very nasty foe
He was opposed by royalty
So of course they had to go (bang bang bang)

All of the evil bourgeois
Used to sneer and call him mad
They never let poor Lenin
Put in place his strategy for implementing a nationwide struggle to wrench the means of production from the parasites’ grasp and thrust it into the proud, eager hands of the proletariat to build a future in which all were equal and rhymes were the forgotten legacy of a debauched capitalist system! (Sung very quickly, with great anger)

Then one snowy October
Hist’ry came to say
Lenin with your theories great
Won’t you seal our cent’ry’s fate?

Then all the masses loved him
As they shouted out with glee
Lenin the bald-head Marxist
You’ll save us from Christ - mas - Treeeees!

Simply superb!