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Saturday



JURY WRONG. DEFINITELY A JUSTIFIABLE HOMICIDE

A jury on Thursday handed a life prison sentence to a Texas man who shot and killed a longtime friend he accused of drinking the last beer in his refrigerator.


Thursday



TIME FOR SMIRK

Just love that treasure trove of trivia, ANNANOVA:

TRY THIS FOR THIGHS
A semi-naked man who allegedly attacked his estranged wife with a 'small tool' was dragged along on the roof of a car when she sped off in it.
Police in Pennsylvania say Michael Becker had fallen off the roof of the VW Jetta in an effort to stop Lori Ann Becker from stealing it.
He then held her down on the floor and struck her on the thigh 17 times with a small tool dangling from the rearview mirror.


THAT'S IT, HE'S A TROUSER SNAKE
Richard Gere has won Plain English Campaign's Foot in Mouth award for the year's most baffling celebrity quote.
Gere won the 2002 award after telling a Sunday newspaper: "I know who I am. No one else knows who I am. If I was a giraffe and somebody said I was a snake, I'd think 'No, actually I am a giraffe.''


HIS BLOOD-GORGED, THROBBING, GIGANTIC . . . TOE!
Novelist Wendy Perriam has won this the Literary Review's Bad Sex In Fiction award.
Her winning entry was a scene in which the 30-something heroine, sent to a geriatric nursing home to convalesce after a botched bunion operation, has sex with her husband while fantasising about her foot surgeon.



CRISIS DU JOUR

It's not hip to be hot, say the folk at BSNN.com, who regard the Kyoto Accord as the coolest treaty to stride the block. It has style and flair, and all the really au courant scientists are talking about it. Global warming is, by far, today’s most fashionable worldwide environmental crisis. It is all the rage. We as a nation cannot afford to let pass this opportunity to remain at the forefront of environmental trends.

There's more:

I may date myself when I recall the “acid rain” Armageddon of the eighties. Every scientist with a beaker to spare was pushing this one, and even pop-culture got into the act, raising awareness while they entertained. I remember a particularly poignant episode of “Diff’rent Strokes” when Kimberly Drummond rinsed her hair in rain water, only to watch in horror as her hair turned green! Those were heady times to be a hip, intellectual environmentalist. Unfortunately, that fad didn’t have staying power, and the trendy leftist was forced to consider the “animal rights” movement as a more effective outlet for his altruism.

Sadly, it seemed that mainstream environmentalism just wasn’t “cool” anymore. Enter Global Warming; the designer disaster of a new generation. Gone are the risky predictions of previous manufactured disasters; the payoff on this one is so far in the future it doesn’t matter if it never happens. The statistics that once had to be cooked to show a causal connection are a thing of the past; Global warming began in the 19th century, just when the nasty industrialists were really beginning to hit their stride (a 2 degree increase in 150 years can’t be a fluke). And this is a catastrophe that doesn’t need any real villains; we are all to blame for this one, from the hairspray wielding teen in California to the flatulent bovines of Calcutta .


Remember, no-one's bum ever looks too big in global warming.


Wednesday



IDIOTS OFF THE MARK AGAIN

If John Howard had used language any less assertive than his hypothetical remarks to Laurie Oakes on pre-emptive action against offshore terror threats, the same pathetic pundits who are blasting him now would be accusing him of over-caution. This is what he said in response to an Oakes poser:
It stands to reason that if you believed that somebody was going to launch an attack against your country, either of a conventional kind or of a terrorist kind, and you had the capacity to stop it and there was no alternative other than to use that capacity then, of course, you would have to use it."
Seems perfectly reasonable to me. If Mahathir and Megawatti got wind that cells of militant Israelis were holed up in Australia, planning attacks on Malaysian and Indonesian mosques and their congregations, and that Australian authorities were unable or unwilling to apprehend them, I'm sure the aforementioned leaders would not hesitate to employ their own offensive resources.
Nevertheless, with the Howard haters at the ABC and Fairfax egging them on, Asian leaders and commentators have gone more than usually ga-ga. Mahathir belly-ached racially about ''a white deputy sheriff pushing around the blacks in Asia'' and the Indons, still smarting over the lesson in human rights we gave them in East Timor, whined like an Oldsmobile diff.
Howard again shows he's the smartest politician in the nation by a country mile by upsetting the idiotocracy. This, he has shown repeatedly, gets the great unwashed to rally behind him like any sensible citizen would do in times of national threat while leaving the commentariat spluttering and moaning about children overboard and other items of ancient history.
But most importantly, Howard again reminds us that if Bali wasn't a prevailing threat to Australians, that was Hitler I saw going to synagogue.


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