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Thursday


SOOKY LA-LA EDDIE

Fer gawd's sake, Eddie McGuire has just been on the Footy Show whingeing about the media intruding on him by snapping a pic of him leaving Channel 9. Astonishing.



KER-LUNK, KER-RASH

The eight-year-old Compac seized up yesterday and is in the hands of tech-doctor Tony Lee. The diagnosis is not promising, so we won't be blogging much for the next few days.



Wednesday


STATS MAN

Ken Waight must have followed the worst football team in the universe as a boy.
I draw this conclusion from youthful experience when those kids who followed thoroughly useless combinations like Fitzroy, North Melbourne and South Melbourne would avoid painful reflection by being total wizards with football statistics.
When they scanned the football reports, rarely would there be any glowing references to their mercurial centremen, their towering rucks or their flawless forwards. So they would employ their alloted half-hour with the sports pages absorbing stats.
This was a handy defence mechanism when it came to skiting about your team.
When the coversational spot shone on the shinboner supporter she'd simply change the subject and dazzle the audience with some inane reflection on how many kicks, handballs and behinds Ted Whitten had accrued before kicking his first goal in senior VFL football.
Waight's site Lying in Ponds presents a fascinating array of statistics on biases among the major US media's political punditry.
The title is an allusion to a line from the movie Monty Python and the Holy Grail. King Arthur had been explaining to "Dennis" and another peasant that he is their king because the Lady of the Lake presented him with the sword Excalibur.
Dennis, who lives in an "anarcho-syndicalist commune", doesn't buy that explanation:

DENNIS: Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no
basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power
derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical
aquatic ceremony.
ARTHUR: Be quiet!
DENNIS: Well, but you can't expect to wield supreme executive power
just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!
ARTHUR: Shut up!
DENNIS: I mean, if I went 'round saying I was an emperor just because
some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me
away!
ARTHUR: Shut up, will you? Shut up!
DENNIS: Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system.
ARTHUR: Shut up!
DENNIS: Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help! Help! I'm being repressed!

As Waight seems to be saying, make up your own mind at http://www.lyinginponds.com/


Tuesday



PATAGONIA DREAMING


In the late 19th century a group of Australians wished to live in a socialist paradise. So they went overseas. It wasn’t there, either. Nevertheless, Australia’s second greatest living poet Timoshenko Aslanides has given the Lane people their day in posterity.

Today’s AnniVersaries poem by Timoshenko Aslanidis.
(Published by Brandl & Schlesinger Pty Ltd
PO Box 276 Rose Bay NSW 2029 Australia
brandlschlesinger@compuserve.com

ROYAL TAR IDEOLOGY

Sunday, 16 July 1893

A seagull dipped towards the Royal Tar, then turned
to drop, and tuck its wings behind a wave;
a breeze sprang up to flap and flap and fill some sail
as Sydney Harbour heaved beneath the ship;
their inspiration was now a continent away,
utopias as the other side of the world.
For passengers to Patagonia, this was goodbye.
Two girls out late on deck, accepting this,
admire and talk their harbour’s habits through The Heads.
A cloud of smoke with man and pipe confront them.
‘Enough of this chatter! Go to your cabin and read a book!’
They look at William Lane and then each other.
The hope of something better than the present or the past
(ideology in any other words)
had prompted them to join, subscribe and plan this life;
a New Australia in another world,
‘We have as much right…’ the both of them thought but couldn’t extend
from silence a complexity of disappointment.


THERE HAD TO BE A CATCH

Longterm Collingwood barrackers couldn't believe what was happening out on the paddock. Beating all-comers -- until that unfortunate slipup at the weekend against Geelong -- and looking a real threat for the finals. We who have witnessed premiership defeat snatched from the jaws of victory several times knew this was not going according to script. If they're doing all right on the field there must be something dreadfully awry in the clubrooms.
Sure enough, Crikey's sealed subscriber list brought the grim news this morning. Read on and weep, Magpies.


6. BRAD COOPER FINGERED AT THE HIH ROYAL COMMISSION

Crullers writes:
And talking of colourful Sydney business types, one time HIH/FAI director, motivational speaker, Collingwood Football Club vice-president and (still, we believe) great mate of Eddie McGuire was yesterday fingered at the HIH Royal Commission.
Cooper, Rodney Adler and Ray Williams were alleged to have been part of several transactions that "bear many similarities" to the one for which Adler and Williams went to court.
We called for Cooper to be dumped from the Collingwood board last year, saying in our write up of the AGM:
"The other issues we raised included colourful Sydney-based director Brad Cooper who only made 9 out of 13 meetings and is caught up heavily in the HIH collapse.
McGuire defended Cooper's attendance record due to his recent business troubles and said he is attempting to put his affairs back in order in London at the moment.
And the audience didn't want to hear a bad word for Cooper given that he lent the club $1.5 million interest free for 3 weeks during the year and also paid $100,000 to bring Jimmy Barnes down from Sydney to perform at the MCG during a Collingwood game this year.

Eddie said he wouldn't have minded it he'd danced on the roof but we would just like to point out that the interest free $1.5 million loan for three weeks saved Collingwood about $10,000 so it is nothing to write home about."
Then in May this year, Collingwood announced Cooper's resignation from the Board, citing his business commitments. In a gushing cynically timed press release, Eddie Everywhere praised his mate Cooper's contribution to the board.
Wonder what Eddie thinks of Cooper's business credentials now?
The Royal Commission transcript for yesterday wasn't up when Crikey checked at 4.15am (after a 6 hour sleep) but the SMH has the yarn courtesy of AAP: http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2002/07/15/1026185158622.html

Now I just heard on 3AW that the matter's all over the HIH Royal Commission today and that Collingwood will have to pay back hundreds of thousands. Eddie (surprise, surprise) is unavailable for comment. Taping Who Wants to Be a Miyyionaire. Do Broady boys appreciate irony?

Wait, there's more. . .

In news just to hand from Crikey we learn:
2. COLLINGWOOD FOOTBALL CLUB $250,000 THE POORER?

The HIH Royal Commission gets more and more interesting with Eddie McGuire's colourful Sydney business identity mate, Brad Cooper, having his dirty linen aired over the last couple of days.

It was alleged in the Royal Commission today that HIH had given $250,000 to the Collingwood Football Club prior to the December 2000 contested election where Alex Waislitz and Brad Cooper's mate, Eddie Everywhere, were seeking to fend off a challenge to their positions on the board.

Eddie apparently said at the time that HIH did not get much for it.

The "donation" - it hardly seems to be a "sponsorship", if HIH didn't get much for it - was apparently used to show to the club that Eddie's colourful Sydney business identity chum would be good for drumming up corporate support from Sin City businesses.

Cooper of course, went on to become Vice President of the club, danced on the MCG when Barnesy was screeching, but resigned in May this year when his "business commitments" got too much to handle.

As we reported in this morning's sealed section, Eddie gave Cooper glowing praise, both when announcing his departure from the board and when Crullers questioned Cooper's worth as a board member at last year's AGM (from which Cooper was absent).

Counsel assisting the Royal Commission has alleged that the "donation" was in breach of the HIH directors' fiduciary duties and, as such, there is a suggestion that the Collingwood Football Club may have to pay the $250,000 back.

How will Mr Teflon explain this to club members?

This is what The Age is carrying on the yarn from AAP:
http://theage.com.au/breaking/2002/07/16/FFXCTUJOO3D.html


Monday


NOW THAT TAKES REAL . . .

A man has been arrested in India for impersonating a eunuch.
Police in northern Bengal were tipped off by real eunuchs who became suspicious of him.
K. Jayaraman, a police superintendent in Silliguri, told the Silliguri Barta newspaper he was being held on charges of extortion.
Mr Jayaraman said: "We raided Ishua's house and found that he lived there with his wife and two sons. Later a medical investigation confirmed that he was a man - not a eunuch."
ANANOVA has the full story.


OUT IN THE MIDDAY SUN

Gems of eccentricity are often buried away in the letters columns of establishment British newspapers. This corker appears in today's edition of THE DAILY TELEGRAPH.

Sir - Your leading article "First catch your hedgehog" (July 11) reminded me of my great-grandfather, Lucian Lovelock, who kept a live hedgehog on the porch of his Eaton Square house as a boot scraper.

From:
Harry Lovelock, Hove, E. Sussex


Sunday



WE'RE GRINNING

Well how about that, I tipped a winner. Sly Rambler, beautifully ridden by Matt Pumpa settled nicely on the rails and found the split at the top of the straight to take the lead and win by one and a quarter lengths. It paid $10.30 for the win and $3.20 for the place -- a return of $119 for your $15 outlay. Better than the stock market.


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