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Saturday


Bruce Hill at WarNow has an interesting take on SBS's first episode of Darcus Howe's series on English identity, "White Tribe". Bruce concludes it's pretty depressing stuff. The English, having lost their Empire, seem to be coming culturally unravelled. What does being English mean anymore in the age of basketball, MacDonalds and the Chippendale dancers. Accepting that more or less the same is happening here, Bruce arrives at an imaginative conclusion: The state of Anglonesia. His blog also disturbingly details attacks on Jews in Europe and the US.


HEY, WATERMELON GIRL

The women of Geelong are pretty special. Hey, I ought to know, I'm married to one. But Vince Ficarra can claim to have one gal in a squillion. His sweetheart, Dianne Morgan, crushes watermelons with her thighs! Yes, I know, there's a thousand places we could go from here, but I'm not going near any one of them. Dianne hopes her talent will lead to Olympic gold. Her story appears in today's Geelong Advertiser



TIM AND GERRY: THE ANTI-PRESS GANG

Australia's goatee-stroking media commentators are nothing if not predictable. So there are no prizes for guessing who most broadsheet opinionistas back in the current Israel-Palestine stoush. As with their crocodile tears over the illegal immigrants, they show they are hopelessly out of touch with the vast majority of fellow Aussies by backing the PLO. But many are in danger of blotting their loopy-lefty copy books by being seen as anti-semitic.
Aussie wisecracker Tim Blair beats up on the fourth estate's bollenger bolsheviks in his weekly FoxNews column while irate Irish-Ozman Gerry Jackson delivers a blistering attack on the downunder media at The New Australian


Friday


GREENS ASK FOR BLUE

A bunch of environmentalist demonstrators got more than they bargained for when they protested at a Dutch timber yard.
The greens, protesting about the timber company's operations in Cameroon, Africa, chained themselves to gates and railing.
The ploy delighted the company's workers who ripped into the sitting duck demonstrators with sticks and stones.
Greenpeace is still deciding whether to press charges.
Readallaboutitat Planet Ark



GROAN, JEEZ THAT WAS ONE HELLUVA NIGHT OUT!

Sydney, 800 miles S. of Nova Scotia (SatireWire.com) — After what witnesses described as an all night blinder during which it kept droning on about how it was always being bloody ignored by the whole bloody world and would bloody well stand to do something about it, Australia this morning woke up to find itself in the middle of the North Atlantic.
SatireWire has the full story.


Thursday



UP YOURS!, ER, MINE?

Like all organisations with their mitts on others' readies, the Australian Football League is a master at firewalling pending criticism. So when silly Bulldog Nathan Brown gave the finger to some opposition fans --a move that was to come back and bite him on the bum when the Dogs collapsed in the final term -- the league fined him $5000.

This was to counter any suggestion the league would condone unsuitable ( or inappropriate, as soft-cough Wayne Jackson would put it) action likely to be copied by kids playing in the local park. Presumably it's OK to sling opponents round the neck, trip them, shirt-front them, call the ump a f........ idiot and shag the vice-captain's wife without copping an AFL fine.

Anyway, Sydney Swans supremo Richard Colless was shown on ABC's Four Corners giving the bird to his Collingwood counterpart "Fast'' Eddie McGuire. When the one-man jury moved on Brown, Colless, in the spirit of stupidity, offered to donate $5000 to the AFL's favourite charity.

Clever bastard! Everyone knows that's the Sydney Swans.


HASTY-TASTY, CHEW IT AND SPEW IT. IS THAT BETTER?
The 150-year-old tradition of saying grace before meals at the U.S. Naval Academy in Maryland may have to be swept aside if a recent ruling against the nearby Virginia Military Institute is upheld on appeal, says FoxNews.

In January, a federal court ruled that saying grace before meals at VMI is unconstitutional, supporting an American Civil Liberties Union claim that such a practice crossed the line separating church and state.

The case is currently on appeal to the 4th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals in Richmond, Va., and could set a precedent covering religious practices at military schools and other public colleges like the Naval Academy, legal experts say.

MARYLAND? VIRGINIA? Aren't those names tied up with religious practices? Such easy targets, the politically correct.


Wednesday


THIS WAS A STICK-UP
A suspected robber is recovering in Florida after a police dog bit him in the crotch, severing his penis, according to a Yahoo report.
After robbing a store of cigarettes, the offender and accomplices bungled their escape and a K-9 named "Scooby" caught up with one of the alleged suspects. The dog first bit the suspect on the buttocks and then bit him in the crotch, severing his penis, according to police.


COLLEGE ACCUSED OF RACIAL DISCRIMINATION
It's hard to believe that in this day and age university teachers would be forced to sue because they were denied positions and promotion on the basis of their skin colour.
But as FoxNews reports, five professors in Salisbury, N.C., have filed a lawsuit against Livingstone College, claiming the private college did just that. Demonstrating that the the college's administrators have learnt little in the past 40 years, the aggrieved academics are white.


Tuesday


Doh! Rio blames it on The Simpsons
When the Simpsons, America's favourite dysfunctional family, visited Brazil last week they made some offbeat observations.
The Guardian reports that the cartoon characters found that Rio de Janeiro is a city where all men are bisexual, where fearsome monkeys roam the streets, and tourists are kidnapped by taxi drivers and mugged by children. (Sounds just like Sydney).
The ironic humour was par for the course for a show that has poked fun at middle American stereotypes for more than a decade.

Unfortunately, the Rio tourist board did not see the funny side and is preparing to sue the producers, Fox, for damage to its international image and loss of revenue. The issue threatens to become a diplomatic incident.


Norman Liebmann is not merely a grumpy old man. He's a geriatric neutron bomb with a blowtorch vocabulary. The man who created The Munsters has cast his laser-like eye over the she-devils of US feminism and delivered a scorching barrage that strips any semblance of flesh from the bones of hypocrisy.

On JUDGE SUSAN WEBBER WRIGHT who first heard Paula Jones' case against Bill Clinton. "To paraphrase Harry Truman, (Wright) knows as much about justice as a pig knows about Sunday. She ruled the Paula Corbin Jones claim against Bill Clinton should be delayed because it would take too much of the president's time away from playing his favorite computer game, "Virtual Gynecology." In a unanimous decision, the Supreme Court ruled, "Susie-baby, drop dead!"

Turning to the former First Shady, Liebermann declares: No list of harridans is complete without the Leona Helmsly of the Ozarks, HILLARY RODHAM CLINTON. ''Her smile is a biohazard, and a narrowing of her eyes is enough to twist open the sea cocks and sink the Good Ship Lollypop. Hillary Clinton raised criminal ambition and spite to the level of national enterprise. She provokes contempt so she can use it to justify her raw ill will. By implanting her malice in a conscienceless lout, she vulgarized the presidency and put her gangrenous imprimatur on the noblest political culture in history.''

But Normy saves the best for last with some glorious imagary inspired by battle-axe Gloria Steinem's nuptials: ''In 2000 A.D., at age 66, Gloria Steinem got married at the home of a lady friend named Wilma Mankiller, presumably in a bid by Ms. Steinem to see if she could get The Guinness Book of Irony to burst into flames. Knowing Steinem's career-long clamor for sexual equality, we can imagine the expression on the bridegroom's face when on the wedding night presumably she said, "Let's try it with both of us on top."

Savor it all at NewsMax




Monday


The Australian Manufacturing Workers Union has called on the ALP to stop choosing ''star'' candidates and urged a two-year moratorium on preselecting political staff members.
Labor has been told to get back to its roots and cease employing ''old school tie'' candidates and "Kylie Minogue syndrome'' strategies to win votes.
The union's critique -- part of the ALP's review of where things have gone wrong -- seems overly hopeful. Labor can never hope to regain lost ground until it purges the bollinger bolsheviks from its ranks along with the ridiculous stereotypes they carry in their idealogical baggage.
Ponder this thoughtful piece on working men by Glenn J. Sacks, a US columnist who in this piece makes the case for ordinary blokes by celebrating the struggles and sacrifices of earlier generations of working class.


Sunday


Mark Steyne in National Post Online suggests Ariel Sharon should arrest Arafat him and fly him to The Hague. If the Europeans like him, let 'em have him.
Trouble, is, where you going to find an airline that will take an Arab with a one-way ticket?
Otherwise a brilliant, and disturbing, rundown on European attitudes -- and their glaring similarities to those in the past -- on the current Israel-Palestine conflict.


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