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Monday



NEW ADDRESS

This blog has gone with the flow and moved to ubersporting land.. Please adjust links.
Thanks to the brilliant Scott Wickstein, even though he's used the opportunity to slander the head honcho of the greatest football club in the universe. The fact that I agree with Scott puts me on shaky ground.


Sunday



LEFTIES DILEMMA

Cripes, this is the 60s revisited: Students demonstrating against conservative religious fundamentalists, demanding an end to oppression and calling for democracy and liberalised institutions. Jeez, the broad left will be swinging right in behind the Iranian students, won't they? Well, let's just wait and see. Dubya and John Howard support the students and that means a difficult call for the anti-American pseudo left. Will be interesting to see what Phatty Adams makes of it.


Thursday


IT'S ON
JERUSALEM, June 12 AFP - Israel and the radical Palestinian group Hamas declared all-out war on each other today, promising more bloodshed after a Jerusalem bus bombing and retaliatory strikes on Gaza plunged the conflict into one of its most violent phases.
Yesterday's deadly exchange left 27 people dead and shattered hopes for implementing a US-sponsored peace plan launched last week at a summit in Aqaba, Jordan convened by US President George W Bush.
Israeli public radio said the army had been ordered to ``completely wipe out'' the Hamas movement, which claimed responsibility for the suicide bomber who killed 16 other people on a crowded bus in central Jerusalem.
The order was given after Israeli Defence Minister Shaul Mofaz met with his generals, the radio said.
It said everyone ``from the lowliest member to Sheikh Ahmad Yassin'' - a Hamas founder and its spiritual guide - was a target.
Two days after the army tried and failed to assassinate the group's top political leader Abdul Aziz al-Rantissi, Hamas was undeterred and returned Israel's declaration of war.
As Gaza prepared to bury 10 Palestinians killed in Israeli helicopter strikes on Hamas militants, members of the group's armed wing toured the city calling on the population to attend the funerals and promising bloody revenge.
``We will strike with martyrdom operations as soon as possible,'' shouted the members of the Ezzedin al-Qassam Brigades.
Among the victims of last night's helicopter raids were two senior military figures of Hamas.
One was said to supervise the firing of rockets on Israel while the other was a leading bombmaker.
But senior Hamas leader Ismail Haniya said that ``every Palestinian was a target'' for Israel and charged that Israel's order to wipe out his movement was evidence that Prime Minister Ariel Sharon had failed his people.
``This threat reveals the security and political crisis Sharon is facing because he has failed to crush the Palestinian intifada and bring security to his citizens,'' Haniya told AFP.
With the international peace ``roadmap'' moribund despite unprecedented condemnations of the violence and ceasefire calls by Palestinian leader Yasser Arafat and prime minister Mahmud Abbas, Washington looked like the only force capable of stopping the rot.
Bush harshly condemned the bus bombing in Jerusalem, but he sparked an uproar in congress with a milder scolding of Sharon over the timing of the strike on Rantissi.
US lawmakers stepped up calls for Arafat's expulsion which were echoed in Israeli political circles.
But the government has so far ruled out the option, fearing the veteran leader would only gain in strength if he could move freely.
Sharon declared last night after the bus bombing that he would ``continue to fight relentlessly against terrorism'' but insisted the strikes were not a breach of the roadmap.
``We are going to continue the political process to ensure peace and security,'' he added.
The Israeli cabinet was scheduled to meet today to consider how to respond to the Jerusalem bombing, which also left scores of people wounded, including 28 who were still in hospital today.
``It is Israel's duty to respond following the horrific attack in Jerusalem, but we have to avoid antagonising the Americans, we have to react in an intelligent way,'' Justice Minister Tommy Lapid said.
A team of US observers due to arrive early next week to monitor implementation of the roadmap could find the region engulfed in some of the worst violence since the Palestinian intifada, or uprising, began in September 2000.
Official Palestinian sources said today - a day after Egyptian Intelligence Chief Omar Suleiman's visit to Ramallah - that a team of Egyptian experts was expected to arrive soon to try to broker a ceasefire.
Arafat, whom Israel and the US accuse of being the main force behind radical groups and responsible for anti-Israeli attacks, went live on Palestinian television to call for a ceasefire.
``I call on all Palestinian factions to stop all kinds of military operations and shooting attacks against Israelis,'' he said, describing the Jerusalem bombing as a ``terrorist act''.
But following the strike on Rantissi, Hamas announced that truce talks were not on the agenda and appeared determined to step up suicide bombings.
Rantissi himself vowed ``not to leave one Jew in Palestine''.


Tuesday



BANG BAN

Collingwood footy fans refuse to take lying down a ruling by MCG chiefs against banging advertising panels on fences to cheer on their side. Magpie fan Lesley Benham was incensed when threatened with eviction from the G on Monday for pounding the panels. "I can't not fence bang,'' Lesley told the Herald Sun (no link). "I was born to bang on a fence.''
Quite.


Saturday



Rules for Women to Live By

Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us bitching about you leaving it down.
Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!
Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
Saturday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be!
Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
Crying is blackmail.
Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.
Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do! Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
Check your oil! Please.
Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer.
If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.
You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials..
Captain Cook did not need directions, and neither do we.
ALL men see only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
You have enough clothes.
You have too many shoes.
It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz.
BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
What's wrong? You asked if your bum looked too big in that.



NEED TO KNOW

Some ponders from CHUCK.
What is the cutoff to qualify as a weapon of MASS destruction?
If it blew up a Catholic Church during Sunday services, would that qualify it?
Do Monica's dates expect a kiss at the end of their first date with her? On the mouth?
How come if the government wants more money, it's mine they take and if the government wants to cut taxes it's the government's money they're giving away?
Are you really THAT dumb, Hillary?



MORE FROM THE TEEPEE

Oh, and the Chief has published an email he says was sent from an Iraqi doctor to a US Colonel. Reckon it will do the rounds.
Excerpt:
I also want to apologize for some of our young people who are not mature enough to understand what you have done and what you have given us. We have not known freedom for a long time, so it will take time to truly appreciate what a glorious gift you have given us.
Many of us blame the sanctions for all our problems. It was not the sanctions that created what we see today, it was the regime that existed everywhere, to include this very building that I work in, the Ministry of Health. It was the regime that cheated the people out of what was rightfully theirs by God's laws.



A MUST-READ

CHIEF WIGGLES has the most fascinating blog seen in a long while. The chief is pretty circumspect about his personal responsibilities, but he is a US officer involved in interrogation of Iraqi prisoners.
He writes damn fine posts that cover every non-intel detail of life in the camp, from the heat and the flies and lizards and mice, to the frustration of seeing gangsters and mad mullahs kyboshing efforts to bring order to chaos. He gets cranky with some of the "I know nothing'' prisoners, but also is annoyed that many still in captivity should be with their families. The chief also delivers a fine spray to the Red Cross, who failed on a promise to deliver letters to prisoners' families. The prisoners now give the Red Cross the silent treatment.
He paints an often bleak, yet somehow hopeful picture. Excerpts:
It is almost dusk now, I am sitting in my chair in my room of the bombed out radio station, got my candle burning that was sent me, so I can smell the fragrance of cookies and spice over the normal order of the prison camp. Fly strips hang around the room, in an attempt to put a dent in the fly population. A bird has made a nest in some of the broken bricks in our room and for the first time I can hear the sound of the chicks that must have hatched through the night. I usually can see a few lizards dash across the floor, hoping to get lucky and snatch a low flying fly. I have a small fan blowing the hot air around the room, which at least cools the sweat that has stained my shirt. I am sitting here in my brown t-shirt that looks like a tie-dyed shirt; only it is the salt stains of a day of sweating. The wind has finally died down outside, which might at least make it possible to sleep tonight, with getting all wrapped up.
I have been having a feeling that I was missing one thing out here, but I just couldn't put my finger on what it was. Then one day it hit me, music is what is missing and could make a big difference in our quality of life here. I went out and bought a small boom box, and we have been playing it ever since. I even take it to the shower point, so that we can sing along to the tunes while we shower. Being able to hear tunes playing out loud is very different from just hearing it through a set of headphones on a small CD player. We crank it up loud and sing at the top of our voices. It has a major affect on everyone that hears it, not just a bad affect either. Music has a certain soothing affect to all that are listening. We even take it up on the roof so we can listen to it before we go to bed.

The war of good and evil goes on day after day. The very worst of this society in all of its appetites, greed and lust, is still fighting against the goodness that is trying to rear its head after being suppressed for so long. There are still many evil men that have other plans for this place and have begun to fill the void left with Saddam's departure. Evil barely skipped a beat, transforming itself into another form or figure in order to continue the fight against what is good. It is as if evil's goal is to control the minds and will of all people, controlling another human being, which translates into power and wealth.

Organized crime took over the minute Baghdad fell. They were up and running in so many parts of this society, snatching up opportunities to exercise unrighteous dominion over another person in order to get personal gain. It is just amazing the number of groups of opposing organizations that exist here, that are in constant turmoil, jockeying for position.

As one of my friends said recently, what this country really needs is good solid, rigorous, non-religious education. Not Islamic Saudi religious schools that produce more terrorists than engineers, but solid Japanese-style schools that emphasize math, science, reading, discipline and personal accomplishment. Education is the key for these people, which shows in the attitudes of those who have achieved some level of higher education. These people need skills and trades and they need jobs, not some over zealous religious leader promoting hatred of all that they actually are jealous of. They need to learn a way to better provide for their families, in a way that promotes the overall betterment of the society, so that levels of health care improve and these people start living a higher standard of living, which is well within their reach.



RAINES OUSTED AT NEW YORK TIMES,
OFFICE RANSACKED; NO WEAPONS
OF MASS INTIMIDATION FOUND


Scathing parody at THE WEEKLY STANDARD of the paper that brought you ''All the fibs that fit''.



HOO ROO BOY

SCOTT WICKSTEIN neatly sums up Jason McCartney's AFL comeback from horrific Bali bombing injuries, aggravated by helping others rather than getting urgent treatment himself:

It's sentimental, heroic, and something really rather old fashioned, but I'm glad he went ahead and played one more game- and kudos to North Melbourne for believing in fairy tales.
And it's a very Australian way of saying 'Fuck you' to Amrozi.


And so say all of us.


Friday



'That's right, blame Johnny Walker Black, you racist pig!"

A New York judge arrested for crashing her Rolls Royce into two parked cars and refusing to take a blood alcohol test says she was targeted by cops only because she is black.
State Supreme Court Judge Donna Mills Mills was arrested last July 22 after crashing her luxury sedan into two parked cars outside a Riverdale store.
Cops said the 50-year-old judge stank of liquor and slurred her words before refusing to take a blood-alcohol test.



DOWDIFICATION IN PICTURES



C'ARN THE VAMPIRES!

Tim Blair reckons in his days editing the illustrious Melbourne Truth, he would have killed for a story like Shane Maurice Chartres-Abbott's.

My action-packed intro posted yesterday:
A gigolo who allegedly claimed to be a vampire and who feared becoming the victim in a snuff movie, was shot dead -- hit-style -- yesterday on his way to court to face charges of raping a client and biting off part of her tongue.

Blair alerts me to the omission of one salient fact that no self-respecting Melbourne tabloid editor should overlook, regardless of the story's gravity. The oversight demonstrates how far downhill the Herald Sun has slipped in recent years.
''Wonder what footy team he followed?'' ponders the Blairter.


Thursday



NEWS YOU MUST HAVE

PALM SPRINGS, Calif. (AP) - Barry Manilow is trying to get the feeling again after walking into a wall in his bedroom and breaking his nose.

ACME construction company expects to have the wall rebuilt by tomorrow evening.



PIGS MIGHT FLY

Australian health ministers would go along with this, wouldn't they?

The surgeon general of the United States, Richard Carmona, has said he would support the abolition of cigarettes and all tobacco products, the first time that such a senior public health official has taken that kind of stand over the industry.

Course it might mean giving up a few billion in excise and taxes, but the public's health is more important than government revenue, isn't it? Isn't it?




GUEST BOOK UNOPENED

Mysterious.
MEDIA WATCH'S guest book has not been updated since May 30. Perhaps they've been inundated with examples of a certain phat broadcaster's plagiarism in a national newspaper and are awaiting riding instructions from Biffo Balding.



SCREAMER

Crime reports don't come much better than this:
A gigolo who allegedly claimed to be a vampire and who feared becoming the victim in a snuff movie, was shot dead -- hit-style -- yesterday on his way to court to face charges of raping a client and biting off part of her tongue.
The Herald Sun updates the curious, potentially explosive tale of of Shane Maurice Chartres-Abbott.



Wednesday



NOT IMPRESSED?

NEWS to make your eyes water:

BERLIN (Reuters) - A German woman has partially severed her husband's penis during a quarrel after sex, police in the southern town of Konstanz say.
In an incident recalling the maiming of former U.S. marine John Wayne Bobbitt, who temporarily lost his penis in a similar attack, the woman, 43, sliced her 34-year-old husband's member with a carpet knife, police said.
"They'd just had their bit of hanky-panky and she went for him with the knife," a police spokesman said.


Tuesday



NOT FOOLING ANY OF THE PEOPLE

A fine essay by Catherine Crawford suggests bias comes from out-of-touch journalists, and their public knows it.
There are the perennial charges of bias, which grow louder the more bitterly split the electorate gets. But there's also the problem that many big-media journalists are now cautious, well-paid conformists distant from their audiences and more responsive to urban elites, powerful people and megacorporations — especially the ones they work for. Hence the bland news anchors who verge on self-parody; magazines so commercial they're practically catalogs; timid pack journalism (We love dotcoms too! I mean, we never believed in them either!); local newscasts shilling for their corporate parents ("Up next: the hottest Survivor finale parties! Plus, the rest of the news!"); saturation coverage of trials-of-the-minute and movies we know will be lousy but will have big opening weekends. Yes, people watch and buy all this stuff. That doesn't mean they respect it. They see a profession that acts excited about a lot — Laci Peterson, The Matrix Reloaded, political horse races — but cares about nothing.



TOUGH TALK

How's this for an invitation to read on:

Sid is such a compulsive and mean-spirited prevaricator that he gives ordinary liars a bad name. Sid is also litigious. Therefore, I will take this opportunity to invite him to sue me for any libel he detects in the article that follows.

It's David Horowitz letting fly at Clinton biographer Sidney Blumenthal.



BEEB BIAS

Seems it's not just an Australian problem.

The BBC's impartiality will come under increased scrutiny from its governors, who have asked for quarterly reports.
A spokesman said the board had always taken an interest in the issue, but "as always happens during a conflict, the Iraq war highlighted the importance of impartiality to all broadcasters, including the BBC".


And while they're at it, could they get some presenters who are not quite so, er, homely.



Monday



SULLY'S CASE

As always, ANDREW SULLIVAN is lucid and convincing in his latest post on WMDs.
But in some ways, these matters, while important, still don't get to the heart of the matter. The fundamental case for getting rid of Saddam was not dependent on the existence of a certain amount of some chemical or other. It was based on a political and military judgement. Once the threat from Islamist terror was self-evident, it would have been irresponsible for any political leader to ignore the possibility of a future attack with WMDs. It was and is the obvious next step for an operation like al Qaeda. Further, the war against terror, from the beginning, was always directed not simply at terrorist groups, but at the states that aided and abetted them. The key point is that Saddam's Iraq was a clear and present danger in that context. What mattered was not whether at any particular moment Saddam had a certain specifiable quantity of botulinum toxin. What mattered was his capacity to produce such things, his ability to conceal them, and his links to terrorists who could deploy them. No one can doubt that he had had them at one point, was capable of producing them, and was linked to groups who would be only too happy to use them. That was and is the case for getting rid of him. It's as powerful now as it was in January.

And here's the killer punch always overlooked by the ''where's the evidence'' crowd.

1441 was Saddam's last chance to prove he was a changed person. It proved he wasn't. If he had nothing to hide, why did he try so hard to hide it? And after all we know now about Saddam's evil police state, on what possible grounds could we have trusted him in the future?





CAN'T WIN 'EM ALL

Another unsuccessful day at the neddies. From our total $60 invested at $10 each way three times, we landed two placings for a total return of $37. Not a complete disaster and we've got Homewrecker to carry us to glory next Saturday.



CREAN GONE

Melbourne radio commentator Neil Mitchell can be an up-himself, anti-Catholic bigot, but he's reluctant to risk being wrong. So it was worth taking notice this morning when he predicted tomorrow's polls would have nothing but grief for Labor and Crean would be out and Beazley in within two weeks. And Howard will stick around for the next election.



WATCHING MEDIA WATCH

In view of all the aggrieved denials from within of ABC bias, the pressure will be on MEDIA WATCH tonight to expose Phatty Adams' latest plagiaristic effort as revealed by PROFESSOR BUNYIP.
If not, the racket from Auntie's opponents resting their cases will be deafening.



Saturday



THEY'RE OFF

Racing against the clock again with Magic Mick's tips. His first recommendation at Moonee Valley today is Prince Benbara (race 3, No.3) which he says is a star hurdler and ready to win again. Trouble is they jump in about 13 minutes. You have time for a leisurely waddle to take a pecuniary interest in his other considerations: These two each-way REGICIDE (Race 6, No.7) and SPECULAR (Race 7, No.5).
And here's one straight from an owner's mouth: Homewrecker in next weekend's Brisbane Cup. The oats bill payer -- one of a syndicate of Collingwood supporters -- says if it draws between barriers 4 to 10, it will shit it in. If it draws elsewhere it will probably win. Workmate and Magpie maniac Wanci reckons there's an omen quinella there: Homewrecker (Collingwood syndicate) and Maguire (Collingwood prez for life).


Friday



TORTUROUS STYLE

Boy, has idiot third son Ooglay Hussein landed on his feet. There he is, hanging out in Hollywood with some "movie producer or director who wants to make story of how evil American Georgeboosh made my country a stinking crater so he could be having my Glorious Father's Oils. Also with us is William Morris agent for Ooglay and some hooker they think will make me happy. Or maybe she is movie star, I can't ever tell.''
Anyway, he learns from his Left Coast buddies that he is diverse and before you can say Liar, Liar, he's landed a job at the NY Times, replacing some idiot who thought that all a reporter did was sit in a bar and make it up. (Yes, I know, that is what they do. But you're supposed to do it from a bar somewhere near the story, not around the corner from the office). Anyway, Ooglay's now a media star. I'm afraid this is going to end in tears.
Ooglay's alter ego is doing his bit to aid the BOYCOTT HOLLYWOOD underdogs and needs a few hits to win a contest at this BLOGGER INDEX. Worth a link (or bookmark, in my case -- thanks Blogspot).


Thursday



AUNTIE'S IDIOTS

Resorting to the cliche of the week: They just don't get it!
Who? ABC defenders against Dickie Alston's entirely feasible claims of political bias in the news and current affairs section.
Trouble is they hoist themselves with their own petards of prejudice and idiocy.
A comrade rang "Hockey sticks'' Jon Faine earlier to brand Dickie's assertions as ridiculous because the majority of Australians were against the war and Howard was a Bush suckhole, and the US's imperialist grasp was spreading across the globe and it's all about oil and Howard won't say sorry and waddabout the kids overboard and he hijacked the republic and maintain your rage and no kid will live in poverty and pass the soggy biscuit and Bush stole the election and 51 per cent of Australians didn't vote for Howard and bring the boys home and Hollingworth protects pedophiles and Bill Heffernan's a maniac because he hunts down pedophiles and why should I take those tablets and the rest of the media's right wing and Phillip Adams gets a column only because he's in advertising and the CIA got rid of Whitlam and get that needle away from me and I know because the tram lines told me and they told Margo too....


Wednesday



DOWD DOBBED

In the wake of journalist scandals the New York Times has introduced an email box -- retrace@nytimes.com -- where you can report transgressions seen in the paper. THE DAILY NEWS' Zev Chafets says he's blown the whistle on columnist Maureen Dowd for misquoting Dubya.

Here's what she wrote:
"'Al Qaeda is on the run,' President Bush said last week. 'That group of terrorists who attacked our country is slowly but surely being decimated ... they're not a problem anymore.'"

Here's what Bush actually said:
"Al Qaeda is on the run. That group of terrorists who attacked our country is slowly but surely being decimated. Right now, about half of all the top Al Qaeda operatives are either jailed or dead. In either case, they're not a problem anymore."
The words in italics were replaced in Dowd's column by three little dots. Those dots say to the reader: Trust me, I'm abbreviating here, but what I'm leaving out doesn't change the meaning.
But the dots did change the meaning. In fact, they turned it upside down.
Far from declaring Al Qaeda "spent," Bush was warning the country against complacency. The only terrorists the President declared "no longer a problem" were the ones already jailed or dead.
New York Times spokeswoman Catherine Mathis says the paper is "looking into" the column.
If Dowd intentionally misrepresented the President's words, she is guilty of a journalistic offense much worse than Bragg's intern problem, or even Blair's fantasies.
Blair is a kid, after all, who made things up for fun and profit. Dowd is a major figure at The Times, a role model. A syndicated role model.



THE WAY WE WERE

Reflection from the email box:

According to today's regulators and bureaucrats, those of us who were kids in the 50's, 60's and 70's shouldn't have survived,
because...

Our baby cots were covered with brightly coloured lead-based paint which was promptly chewed and licked.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, or latches on doors or cabinets and it was fine to play with pans.

When we rode our bikes, we wore no helmets, just flip flops and fluorescent 'clackers' on our wheels.

As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags. Riding in the passenger seat was a treat.

We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle and it tasted the same.

We ate dripping (Edit: not bloody me) sandwiches, bread and butter pudding and drank fizzy pop with sugar in it, but we were never overweight because we were always outside playing.

We shared one drink with four friends, from one bottle or can and no-one actually died from this.

We would spend hours building go-carts out of scraps and then went top speed down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into stinging nettles a few times,we learned to solve the problem.

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back before it got dark. No one was able to reach us all day and no one minded.

We did not have Playstations or X-Boxes, no video games at all. No 99 channels on TV, no videotape movies, no surround sound, no mobile phones, no personal computers, no Internet chat rooms. We had friends - we went outside and found them.

We played elastics and street rounders, and sometimes that ball really hurt.

We fell out of trees, got cut and broke bones and teeth, and there were no lawsuits. They were accidents. We learnt not to do the same thing again.

We had fights, punched each other hard and got black and blue we learned to get over it.

We walked to friend's homes.

We made up games with sticks and tennis balls and ate live stuff, and although we were told it would happen, we did not have very many eyes out, nor did the live stuff live inside us forever.

We rode bikes in packs of 7 and wore our coats by only the hood.

Our actions were our own. Consequences were expected.

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke a law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law. Imagine that!

This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers and problem solvers and inventors, ever.

The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas. We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all.

And you're one of them. Congratulations!



Tuesday



You want tears with that?

Police in Germantown, Maryland, arrested a woman Saturday for allegedly attacking a 5-year-old boy in a McDonald's restaurant and rubbing hot fries in his eyes. Police said the boy accidentally spilled ice cream on the woman's shirt.



FANGS A LOT

Ve vill make you pay vor zis!

BERLIN (Reuters) - A German mother was fined $116.9 because her 8-year-old daughter refused to open her mouth for the school dentist.



ALL THE FIBS THAT FIT



WOG WARS

THE WOG has been quiet of late. Pity, as I'd like to see the reaction from Wogville to Queensland Liberal senator Santo Santoro suggesting that ABC presenter Indira Naidoo got $250,000 a year for her five-minute Feedback program which aired for five minutes twice a week. Case of the spag wog beating up on the curry wog.



CRIMINAL INTENTIONS

Reviewing Peter Hitchins' A Brief History of Crime, Theodore Dalrymple could be explaining how all sorts of madness masquerading as public policy came about:

Most of the reforms that have turned so much of Britain into an urban nightmare were not enacted because of any groundswell of opinion from below. It was the intellectual élite that demanded that the police should be emasculated, that the law's teeth should be drawn, that perpetrators should be treated as the victims of their own behaviour, and so forth.


But In this case, he is referring to the decomposing corpse that was once the world's best police force. More:

Fear of crime now dominates the lives of millions of people - and lucky is the householder whose first thought on returning home is not "Have I been burgled?"
Mr Hitchens places the blame firmly where it belongs: on a supine and pusillanimous political establishment that, for four decades at least, has constantly retreated before the verbal onslaught of liberal intellectuals whose weapons have been mockery allied to sentimental guilt about their prosperous and comfortable lives, and whose aim has been to liberate themselves from personally irksome moral constraints, without regard to the consequences for those less favourably placed in society than themselves.

Should be a good read.



Monday



RANK HYPOCRISY TIME

On the news that Australian Governor-General Peter Hollingworth had resigned, Opposition Leader Simon Crean told Parliament ``It is as simple as this: you cannot have people in authority who have covered up for child sex abuse.''
Queensland Premier Peter Beattie, who was State ALP secretary when ex-Party leader Keith Wright and his deputy Bill Darcy were known throughout the party to have had sex with minors, had this to say to the ABC:
"It has been a difficult course for everybody, I haven't enjoyed pursuing this issue but it's been about looking after children and tackling paedophilia head on and I haven't enjoyed it," he said.
Even the dreaded Margo has contributed to the issue: In her web diary of Sept 26 2001 she says that even the opposition politicians and journalists knew of Keith Wright's nefarious activities.
So when is a politician or journalist going to apply the same standard to Beattie as they have demanded of Hollingworth? If no-one does, then the witch-hunt accusation is entirely accurate.


Sunday



BRAKES ON

Only in country football. Tony Prytz reports from the Apollo Bay-Alvie game at Colac.

One of the Bay's two goals for the quarter came when Tyrone Van Santen goaled late in the quarter after Alvie
players stopped chasing him thinking the siren had sounded.
It turned out it was the afternoon train running past the Western Oval. The real siren sounded about a minute later.



. . . THAN MEETS THE EYE

It's not a witch hunt, the hating classes maintain. It's about making someone accountable for their shortcomings of judgement. So Hollingworth must go. He knew one of his underlings was a pedophile and let him remain in his position. It's no good for Hollingworth to claim that he acted out of concern for the priest's family and parishioners. He has to go because he did not act according to today's standards. OK, if that's what the witch hunters want, let it be. But a little consistency please. And lets' start with Hollingworth's main accuser, Peter Beattie. This message fell into the email letterbox yesterday: For now, I've omitted the sender's name.
Bernard, I am a frustrated man. From 1970 to 1986 i was a member of the A.L.P.
During this time i became a foot soldier for many political aspirants. Bill Darcy was one of those whom i supported during this time, we had a good working relationship because of our shared political views and the fact that i used to service his Jaguar.
During this time it was common knowledge to all those i knew in the Labor Party that Darcy had sex with students at a school in Beaudesert when he was a student teacher.
The sexual exploits of Baptist lay preacher and state school headmaster Keith Wright were widely discussed.
On a day in the early eighties i had serviced Darcys Jaguar and returned it to parliament house. Darcy was deputy leader at the time and Wright was the Opposition Leader.
I was having a beer with Darcy in his parliamentary office when Tom Burns [former leader of the opposition] stuck his head in the door and asked if Darcy had seen "Wrightie" Darcy replied "Wrighties in his element he has a group of High School Girls from his electorate showing them around parliament house". Wink Wink.
Tom Burns nodded knowing full well what Darcy had meant.
Peter Beattie was an executive of the A.L.P. at this time[ state secretary i think] and if he had not heard of or even discussed the exploits of both men he was the only one in the state A.L.P. who had not.
Strange that Beattie can be so critical of the Prime Minister and the Governor General when he had knowledge of the paedophile activities of two of its parliamentary members.
Regards xxxxxx
PS. During my time in the A.L.P. I was also a witness to electoral rorting. 30 Months ago i gave a 3hr statement to the federal police revealing names of some involved and details of how the rorting was carried out.
It's big and it has won the A.L.P.seats in the past. Petrie? Peter Beattie is a lucky man so far.


Saturday



HOT SHOTS

Holy flame thrower, the GROUCH has come across the delusional ravings of a US politician by the name of Cynthia McKinney and given her the torching she so richly deserves.
In her paranoid spiel, McKinney claims, among other things, the CIA infiltrated the hip-hop movement. So now you know who to blame.
Go read him, the crip is incinerating.



A MASTER'S VOICE

Latest on dumb Hollywood sycophants and Cuba at MICHAEL DARBY'S. Mick disses Castro in his inimitable refined yet scathing style.



POINTS TO PONDER

Christopher Pearson in The Australian today (no link) verifies in added detail two points on the Hollingworth matter this blogger has been laboring in recent weeks: (1) That Hollingworth's main antagonist, anti-pedophile campaigner Hetty Johnston, is a barking obsessive employing debunked memory retrieval practices; and (2) That Queensland Premier Peter Beattie was an executive of a state Labor Party that covered up for MP pedophiles Keith Wright and Bill D'Arcy. Pearson's words: "Beattie's Deputy Speaker Bill D'Arcy was imprisoned for kindred crimes (to Wright). He wasn't ostracised by Labor until just before committal. The Labor caucus turned a blind eye for years to what was an open secret and allowed him to linger on just long enough to collect augmented superannuation. He was also awarded a gambling licence when the allegations against him were known. Worst of all, the Queensland government strenuously resisted any liability for compensating his victims.''
Let the witch-hunting rebegin.


Wednesday



COWISM

Here's an extension of an old pearler often found pinned to the wall of country pubs. Courtesy of Jane Liberatore. Yes, Sherrin hoofers, that's Missus Libba.

SOCIALISM:
You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbour.
COMMUNISM:
You have 2 cows, the Government takes both and gives you some milk.
FASCISM:
You have 2 cows, the Government takes both and sells you some milk.
NAZISM:
You have 2 cows. The Government takes both and shoots you.
BUREAUCRATISM:
You have 2 cows; the Government takes both, shoots one, milks the
other and throws the milk away.
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd
multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the
income.
AMERICAN CAPITALISM:
You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the
milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the
cow dropped dead.
A FRENCH CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size
of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then
create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them
World-Wide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years,
eat once a month, and milk themselves.
A BRITISH CORPORATION:
You have two cows. Both are mad.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for
lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You
count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and
learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle
of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION:
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others
for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full
employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who
reported the numbers.
A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION:
You have two cows. That one on the left is kinda cute...
AN INDIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You worship them.
A SINGAPOREAN CORPORATION:
You have 2 cows, the government says you have to keep 25% of the
income from the cows and you can't touch them until you are 65 years
old. Alternatively, you can use that money to invest in government dairy
farms which loses all your money.
AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION:
You have 2 cows, one on disability pension and the other on
unemployment benifits. The government then imports other cows to give
the milk, then the imported cows get blamed for degrading the land.



COWISM

Here's an extension of an old pearler often found pinned to the wall of country pubs. Courtesy of Jane Liberatore. Yes, Sherrin hoofers, that's Missus Libba.

SOCIALISM:
You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbour.
COMMUNISM:
You have 2 cows, the Government takes both and gives you some milk.
FASCISM:
You have 2 cows, the Government takes both and sells you some milk.
NAZISM:
You have 2 cows. The Government takes both and shoots you.
BUREAUCRATISM:
You have 2 cows; the Government takes both, shoots one, milks the
other and throws the milk away.
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd
multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the
income.
AMERICAN CAPITALISM:
You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the
milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the
cow dropped dead.
A FRENCH CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size
of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then
create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them
World-Wide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years,
eat once a month, and milk themselves.
A BRITISH CORPORATION:
You have two cows. Both are mad.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for
lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You
count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and
learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle
of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION:
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others
for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full
employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who
reported the numbers.
A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION:
You have two cows. That one on the left is kinda cute...
AN INDIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You worship them.
A SINGAPOREAN CORPORATION:
You have 2 cows, the government says you have to keep 25% of the
income from the cows and you can't touch them until you are 65 years
old. Alternatively, you can use that money to invest in government dairy
farms which loses all your money.
AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION:
You have 2 cows, one on disability pension and the other on
unemployment benifits. The government then imports other cows to give
the milk, then the imported cows get blamed for degrading the land.



ANOTHER EURO-SHONK

Seems that supposedly noble, corruption-free Interpol, established and revered by the enlightened Europeans, is showing signs like their other creations, the UN and the Olympics, of being rotten to the core. Interpol has just appointed brutal Robert Mugabe's police commissioner, Augustine Chihuri, its honorary vice president. This from target of lawyerly wrath, MICHAEL DARBY.

I will never forget the day a young man pulled a gun on me at our Marondera farm in 2000 and bragged that he could "drop me at forty paces". Nor will I forget the police who came, took a statement, went down onto the field where the man was and did absolutely nothing. They said they were powerless to act because "it was political." I will never forget sitting in the Harare High Court last year and hearing sworn testimony of how a dozen policemen stood aside in the Murehwa Police Station and allowed five farmers to be abducted from the safety of their offices. For three years the Zimbabwe Republic Police have used a string of phrases which has excused them from acting against rape, murder, torture, arson and looting. These phrases are: "It is political," "It is my first time of hearing this", "I am not the one" or "We have received no instructions." For three years the Police in Zimbabwe have ignored scores of High Court Rulings and now, in 2003 it is a punishable offence to criticise them or say anything which causes people to ridicule them. When I had the privilege of meeting a visiting Foreign Minister in 2001 he begged me to write more about the role of the police in Zimbabwe's madness. I hope he understands now why I cannot.


Monday



IDIOCY REIGNS

The nuttier public policy gets, the greater the inevitable backlash. And that's a pity because we need constant improvement in our public systems, not a return to square one. Unfortunately, the nipper was discarded with the ablution slops around the time -- sometime in the pre-post-modern era -- when excellence became a dirty word. Anyway, reckon Sydney's talkback lines would be sizzling this morning after this news hit the streets.
SCHOOL children who accuse their teacher of verbally or psychologically abusing them have been given the right to complain to child protection investigators.



HAPPY DAYS

Memory lane was well trod on Saturday night when old high school pals got together for a reunion. All were ridiculously well-behaved, a situation I attempted to change to little avail. Here's a few pix from the happy event.



John, Ken, Graeme and Slatts


The class of 60-whatever



Graham, Terry and Peter



Kay, Greg and Greg's wife



Ken, Margaret and Brenton


Saturday



SPRINT READY

Jeez, Manley the Magician is acting like he's preparing me for next year's Newmarket, sending me tips for the early races which means I've got to run like curry from a sick Indian to lay the bet. I've got just 20 minutes to get to the lucky shop to invest in his first recommendation, the aptly-tagged RISKY VENTURE (Race 1, No.3) which he confidently opines "should win the hurdle as should EVIL MASTER (Race 3, No.3) in the third ..couple him in an exacta with FONOME (No.2)... Also back ST. VIVANT (Race 7, No.2 each-way).
So, punters, get your skates on.
And remember, in the immortal words of Bob Dyer ... "When roses are red, they're ready to pluck, when girls are 16 they're ready to ... happy lathering customers!''


Friday



READ ALL ABOUT IT

Who says nothing happens in the regions?
This is our front page roarer tomorrow:

HITMAN PLOT

Court told of
plan to 'pulp'
horse trader


A WOMAN ``hired a hitman'' to beat an Olympic equestrian to a pulp after he sold her horse without permission, a court heard yesterday.
Heather Bain, 44, wanted her hired thug to ``stick a gun fair up his clacker'', the court was told.
Bain, formerly of Colac and now of Doyles Road, Kialla, has pleaded not guilty in Geelong County Court to two counts of inciting a person to cause serious injury.
The horse, Money Talks, competed successfully in the 2000 Olympics, making it the third highest placed Australian horse in the history of the
event.
In his opening address
Crown Prosecutor, David O'Doherty, said that after the Games and without Ms Bain's permission or knowledge, Mr Bloomfield sold Money Talks to an overseas buyer for $75,000.
Ms Bain, meanwhile, had found a prospective buyer, prepared to pay $300,000 for the horse.
(I intended linking the remainder, but it has not been included on the Addy's web site. And it's too cruel and unusual a punishment to expect me to retype a story I've subbed.) Anyway, the gist is there and the trial continues.




This picture at Grouchy's brings to mind an old Scottish jest:
"What's worn beneath the kilt, Jock?''
"Nothing's worn laddie, it's all in perfectly good working order.''
(Scroll down to pic).



GO, GRANNY, GO!

Marion Fahnestock, 60, has revealed that she was the White House intern who had a fling with JFK.
"The gift for me is that this allowed me to tell my two married daughters a secret that I've been holding for 41 years. It's a huge relief," she said.
THE NEW YORK POST suggests the church-going granny is 'sitting on a goldmine'.




JADED JENNY UPDATE

Two days ago I speculated on whether the broadsheet press would take any notice of deputy opposition leader Jenny Macklin claiming she was too tired to take the opportunity to air policy on Lateline.
Annabelle Crabb in her column in The Age (no link that I can find) today expands on Macklin's excuse (she had to get work done prior to flying to the Northern Territory) but also manages a subtle sink of the slipper:

Getting on the box when you're in Opposition is like selling encyclopaedias door-to-door -- when someone invites you in, you would be a mug to refuse.

I could be wrong, heavens knows, I've been before. But didn't Macklin just get called a mug?



YA GOTTA LAUGH . . .

Ah, New Yorkers, they can turn anything into a gag.

A demonstrator outside carried a sign: "Former New York Times Reporter - Will Lie for Food."



'THIS SHORT BLACK IS SYMBOLIC OF THE PRE-EXISTENTIALISM PARADIGM'

Snobs think they're better than everyone else.
Everyone else knows they're wrong.
How wrong then, are socialist snobs?
In today's LETTERS in The Age a Howard-hating snob vents about higher education reform.

The "Clever Country" will be full of places to get a latte - but few of the coffee drinkers will have anything meaningful to say.
Andrew Smith, Maffra


Unlike some of the graduates I've encountered in recent days. They spoke meaningfully about Big Brother, Danni at the Logies, how it's still all about oil, why "Leo's are just so up themselves'' and getting preview tickets for the Matrix movie. And they were just the Arts graduates.



RATINGS TO ROCKET

Oooohhh, those raunchy Norwegians!

Reality show to feature blue tits



TOUGH CALL

Jeez, they play hard ball, the du Toits:

This came from our niece, upon reading about the people found dead in the back of a truck in Victoria, Tex.:
"Too bad it wasn't the missing Democrat legislators."


Thursday



MEEE-OWWW

Ouch! Ann Coulter unsheaths the claws to comment on the scandal at the New York Times.

The New York Times is to be commended for ferreting out Jayson Blair, the reporter recently discovered making up facts, plagiarizing other news organizations and lying about nonexistent trips and interviews. A newspaper that employs Maureen Dowd can't have had an easy time settling on Blair as the scapegoat. Blair's record of inaccuracies, lies and distortions made him a candidate for either immediate dismissal or his own regular column on the op-ed page.



SALAAM SALAM

I scoffed when first reading SALAM PAX. Then someone convinced me he was the real deal. Then I lost interest with the constant links changes. Besides, OOGLAY HUSSEIN employed similar idiom but was funnier.
Now, DAVID WARREN of the Ottawa Citizen argues convincingly that Salam Pax is the offspring of a high-ranking Baathstard and is responsible for spreading anti-American propaganda to the gullible western media.

Sample:

What we can know, just by reading his blog, is that this Salam is up to no good. He is spreading "inside views" of the new Iraq, not only to the blogosphere, but directly among the journalists still encamped at the Meridian (formerly Palestine, formerly Meridian) hotel. Not the "embeds" who've gone home after remarkable learning experiences, but those "hacks" not yet transferred to the next breaking news story, and so still kicking around this mysterious city of Baghdad, trying to figure out what's happening without exposing themselves overmuch to danger.
And they lap it up. They depend on translators and guides to show them around, and seem only partially aware that the people who've come forward to provide them with these services are almost all unemployed former Baath regime officials. (They trust them because they speak English so well.)
Hence our media fixation on a series of stories -- starting with the entirely false account that was given of the looting of the Iraqi National Museum -- that show the American occupation in the worst possible light, and blame each lapse in public order on American oversight, instead of on the perpetrators.


Wednesday



MEDIA CHALLENGE

Surely this will test the bias of broadsheet Australian political media and their ABC colleagues, er, comrades.
Deputy Opposition Leader and shadow minister for higher education Jenny Macklin refused to go on Lateline tonight and respond to Minister Brendan Nelson on Budget effects on the portfolio.
"It's been a long day,'' was her excuse.
Had the boot been on the other foot I have no doubt The Age, Australian and SMH would be lifting a front page story to get in Nelson's reluctance to confront his opposite number on national TV at the far-from-ungodly hour of 10.30pm. With plenty of slant in the reportage.
Somehow, I feel this further example of Macklin's unexamined reticence will again go through to the keeper.
And what the heck have Gratten, Kingston and the rest of the sisterhood to say about the silence of their token party heavy? Is Macklin keeping her nut down in the hope that her position will survive the inevitable coup? Fat chance!
I will be thoroughly delighted if events prove this post to be stonewalled, red-faced wrong.



WENT TO JAIL

Took a bike ride along the river and through the city today, shooting a few Geelong landmarks. This is the old guard's tower at Geelong Prison which closed in 1990.




This is peaceful spot beside the Barwon River to have a dip, drop a line or just sit and think.





A former woollen mill beside the river houses Pegasus Antiques. They've mocked up bedrooms, studies and sitting rooms to display their wares to advantage.



The river track passes Landy Field, an athletics complex named after John Landy, who was educated at Geelong Grammar, and was the second man to break the 4 minute mile barrier. He's now Governor of Victoria and a splendid bloke.



Bollards crafted by local artist Jan Mitchell from a demolished wharf line Geelong's foreshore. They are modelled on historic Geelong characters. This is turn of the century footballer Henry "Trapper'' Young, the champion of the VFL in his day.




Tuesday



SUPERB
I like this bloke.

Why do you call yourself a cripple? Isn't disabled a better word?
I am not politically correct. Cripple is a perfectly good word. If the word offends you, fuck off.

Are you old?
I was born in October of 1946. Do the math. Sometimes I feel like I'm in my 70's. That's because I'm a cripple.

Is that why you're grouchy?
Partially. I'm also grouchy from having to deal with idiots. I do not suffer fools gladly.

Aha! You feel sorry for yourself!
Piss on pity! I'm a cripple because I fucked up. It was no one's fault but my own. I take responsibility for my own actions. That's why I hate liberals. To a liberal it is always someone else's fault. I hate whining.

Do you think you deserve special treatment because you are a cripple?
No. But I do get pissed when I see able bodied people in handicapped parking spaces and handicapped restroom stalls. When I went back to work after my accident, I didn't ask for special treatment and I didn't get any. My career took off because I outworked all my peers. I did not want anyone to say that the only reason I had a job was that I was a cripple. That is why I detest 'diversity' and 'affirmative action'. I have seen too many people use the color of their skin and their sex as excuses for failure. I don't give a shit if you are male or female; homosexual, monosexual, bisexual or any other kind of sexual; black, white, green, purple, or orange. Do your job and don't bitch about how badly the world has treated you.

And he's a gold medal writer. His Mother's Day tribute is exquisite.




BASTARDS!

An Australian man has been killed and another injured in a series of powerful bomb blasts which ripped through foreign housing compounds in Saudi Arabia.
A 39-year-old man from Sydney, who worked for an American computer company in the Saudi capital Riyadh, died in the suicide bombing attacks on guarded compounds housing foreign workers, mainly Americans.
Terrorist group al-Qaeda was suspected to be responsible for the three explosions, apparently set off when cars stuffed with explosives were driven into the compounds.
Another 28-year-old Sydney man was injured and taken to hospital, a Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade (DFAT) spokeswoman said.
Australian Ambassador Bob Tyson said as many as 10 people may have been killed in the blasts, which may have been launched in retaliation for the war in Iraq.



THE WORKERS PARTY?

How the heck are the middle class socialists going to handle this? A Liberal government giving preferential tax cuts to low paid workers? This comes on top of a $20 a week national wage rise last week for the same low paid workers.

AAP reports: Treasurer Peter Costello handed out surprise tax cuts of between $3 and $11 a week for Australian workers tonight in a Budget he said would strengthen Australia's physical and economic security.
Mr Costello said the tax cuts, put into the Budget in the final two weeks, were aimed at low to middle income earners, and included an $85 increase to the low-income rebate for people who earned up to $21,600 a year.


Monday



ALL SHE WANTS FOR CHRISTMAS . . .

A WOMAN prisoner is still at large after fleeing from the Geelong Hospital on Saturday afternoon.
Carolyn Munyard, 21, of Tallis Street, Norlane, was in a room at the hospital's birthing unit when she escaped, possibly down the
fire escape into Myers Street.
Munyard is 165cms (5'6'') tall, of slim build, had long blonde hair and at the time of her escape was wearing blue track pants and a light blue crop top and no shoes.
She also has no front teeth.



A FRIEND OUT THERE

In praise of blogs and bloggers.



MURDEROUS MAYHEM

Here's an opportunity for the United Nations to prove it can be of some use:

Wielding machetes and rocket-launchers, hordes of tribal warriors and drug-crazed children marauded through the Congolese town of Bunia yesterday, unleashing an orgy of killing and forcing tens of thousands of terrified refugees across the Ugandan border.



PROFESSORIAL PUNCH

Don't know whether Mrs Bunyip was exceptionally generous in gratitude for her Mother's Day presents, but by heck, the Prof has produced a couple of zinger assaults on captives of the institutionalised Left.


Sunday



AGE OF CONSENT

MICHAEL DARBY presents a strong, concise case against a NSW Government proposal to lower the age of male homosexual consent to 16. It does seem inconsistent when the heterosexual age of consent is 16, but having fathered both genders I can confidently assert that a 16-year-old girl is two years more mature in all sorts of ways than a 16-year-old boy. Plus, as Michael says, a 16-year-old is much easier prey for a predatory homosexual than an 18-y-o. And there's no denying that the motto for a significant percentage of homosexuals is "the younger the better''. On the other hand, adult males who tried to pick up 16-year-old girls would be rightly regarded as suspect, if not outright deviant.



THE END IS NIGH, LEFT-WINGER ADMITS TO BEING WRONG

Is this a first? A lefty commentator in The Sunday Age admits to being wrong on the Iraq war.
Joanna Murray-Smith comes from a line of old commos, and that possibly explains her conversion. Unlike latter day chardonnay socialists, the orthodox left are used to thinking things through and it seems Murray-Smith has concluded there are some things worse than liberating an oppressed people from tyranny and torture.
And yet, the World's Policeman did something no one else could or would do. It could have all gone horribly wrong, but it didn't. Civilians died, young men and women paid all kinds of prices and both Western and Iraqi children who lost fathers or homes have had their personal maps drastically redrawn by the hand of fate. But the fear and the torture is over. America, in all its infuriating arrogance, acted. Not so long ago, I dreaded this. And now, I have to admit, I was wrong.
No such Road to Damascus for stupid Atom Bum Adams who's still peddling his bourgeois bolshevik line complete with juvenile inanities like "our CIA worked so hard to get rid of Whitlam.''



MISSED THE START

Well, if we'd been up and about earlier yesterday we would have ended the day's punting on top. But seeing we missed Mick's first tip (win, paid $2.80) and his second tip, Caramel Corn which ran second, only paid $2.30 for the place, while his third selection St Vivant just missed placings, we were down $17 for the day. Only got myself to blame.


Saturday



BACK ON TRACK (ALMOST)

Can only hope that the rest of Magic Manley's tips are a bit faster than your learned adviser. Had some running around to do this morning so missed out on having a crack at Mick's first tip, Striding Edge, in the first at Moonee Valley. It's duly saluted officialdom, paying $2.80 for the effort. Lets' hope it's not his only winning tip for the day. The Magician's other recommendations are: VIVANT (Race 4, No.3) each-way and for value CARAMEL CORN (Race 3, No.3) each-way. I'm off to invest.


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